“We have to look for excuses for our childlessness all the time and explain our decision to others or even ourselves,” pairs who do not plan to expand the family often admit. For what? One of the reasons for forced excuses is in negative stereotypes about Childfri.
My wife and I created a family much earlier than most of my friends: I was 21 years old, she is 20. We still studied at college then. A few years later, we still remained childless – here we began to regularly hear comments and hypotheses that others usually build about steam without children.
Some suggested that our life is still difficult to consider full-fledged, while others openly envied our freedom. Many opinions were seen by the belief that everyone who is in no hurry to acquire children, selfish people, concentrated only on themselves.
I discussed this topic with the historian Rachel chose, the author of the book “How to be childless: the history and philosophy of life without children”. We discovered some negative stereotypes about Childfri parach, which are actually not supported by scientific evidence.
1. These people are strange
Childlessness is often considered as a rare and abnormal phenomenon. It would seem that statistics confirm: children have (or will)
have most people living on Earth. Nevertheless, it is difficult to call this situation anomalous: there are much more childless than it seems to us.
“About 15% of women in the United States reach the age of 45 years without becoming mothers – either from their choice, or because they cannot give birth,” Rachel Church shares. – This is about every seventh woman. By the way, there is much less left -handed among us “.
In some countries, such as Germany and Switzerland, the indicators of childlessness are even higher, closer to the ratio of 1: 4. So childlessness is by no means rare, but a completely typical phenomenon.
2. They are egoists
In my youth, I often heard that “parenthood is an antidote from selfishness”. And while all these worthy people, parents, only think about the well -being of others (their children), I’m still waiting for me to be healed from my own egoism. I doubt that I am unique in this sense.
I am sure that you know a lot of selfish parents. Like those who do not have children, but who, of course, can be called kind and generous. But the egocentric adult, most likely, will become an egocentric parent – either he will assert himself at the expense of children or admire their reflection in them. So where does this accusation come from?
Education is really hard work, and many of us are not easy to master the profession of a parent
Fathers and mothers who are acutely aware of their own sacrifices can assume that childless people know nothing about what it means to devote their time and effort to others. But parenthood cannot be considered either necessary or a sufficient condition for dulling egoism. In addition, there are many other ways to become less self -centered – for example, through meaningful ministry, charity, volunteer activity.
3. Their views are a product of feminist movements
There is such a common opinion: everyone had children until contraceptives invented and women everywhere began to go to work. But the temple notes notes that women throughout history preferred to do without children. “The tablet has really changed a lot,” she is sure, “but not as much as we think.”.
In the 1500s in countries such as Great Britain, France and the Netherlands, people began to postpone marriage and marry closer to 25-30 years. About 15-20% of women did not get married at all, especially in cities, and unmarried women, as a rule, had no children.
In the Victorian era, even those who married did not necessarily have children. They relied on the methods of controlling the birth rate that were available at that time (and to a certain extent they were effective).
4. Their life does not bring them satisfaction
Many people believe that motherhood/paternity is the top, the main meaning of existence. Most often, those who are really happy and realizes themselves in parenthood in full. In their opinion, childless misses invaluable life experience and waste their time and life resources.
There is no convincing evidence that parents are more satisfied with life than non-child. The presence of children can make your life more meaningful, but not necessarily a more prosperous. And if you have children under the age of five or adolescents, then you are even less happy than childless families.
5. Loneliness and financial difficulties in old age are more often awaiting them
Does the presence of children guarantee that someone will take care of us when we grow up? And does childlessness mean that we will grow in alone? Of course not. Research results show that old age is a real problem for most people when it comes to financial, medical and social (not) security. But before the childless, these problems are not more acute than before everyone else.
The financial situation in childless women, as a rule, is better than in their peers, since they work more, and they have less expenses
And the task of building and maintaining social ties in the advanced years arises before every person, regardless of his status of the parent/childless. In adult children living in the 21st century, there is still enough reason not to take care of their elderly parents.
6. They do not participate in the continuation of the human race
The task of continuing the genus requires us much more than the birth of children. For example, solving social and environmental problems or creating works of art that introduce beauty and meaning into our existence. “I hope that my abilities, energy, love and passion that I bring to work are capable of contributing to your life and the life of other parents,” comments the temple.
It is unnecessary to say that throughout history there were and there are countless people who made an outstanding contribution to culture and were not parents: Julia Child, Jesus Christ, Francis Bacon, Beethoven, mother Teresa, Nikolai Koperman, Oprah Winfrey – the list can be continued. Between people who grow children and who are not familiar with parenthood, a close, almost symbiotic connection. We all really need each other, concludes Rachel Church.